Dear Vachel,  Let the Bread's Rhyme



I am longing for disturbing evening

Miserable floating in regardless owl weeping

Lost boy with lost path

Dying in the hands of wrath


I am longing for Your existance

But no one comes over

Except you the lost one like me

You're not Imogen

The one I need most.


Et ego petrarca in lingua vetera scribo

Selected Poems 1999 - 2002


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Life Has Given Us Two



My Aphrodite,

Life has given us two options
Together or separated away

Life has give us two flavors
Bitter and sweet

Life has given us two instincts
To hurt and to heal

Life has given us two questions
What and why

Life has given us two lack of existence
Here and there

Life has given us two great plays
Lover and deceiver

Life has given us two hidden words
Vision and faith

Life has given us two dreams
Best and last.

Again, My Aphrodite
Life has given us two.


Taken from Et Ego Petrarca In Lingua Vetera Scribo - Selected Poems 1998 - 2001



Monday, October 27, 2008

Mina & Myself


As I battered my loneliness through sleep

I watched you inside magic box near flat stream

In fascinating dress of blue

And magnetic eyes captured me instead.

 

And I missed you already.

 

O, my miracle,

My longing equal death.

 

 

(Et ego petrarca in lingua vetera scribo – Selected Poems 1998 – 2001)



Sunday, October 19, 2008

Shine My Perishing Republic - Part 3


Race of light

Flourished under impression and thought

While cynical swept a lot

In mankind’s sight.

 

I suspicious but aware

For everything in mystically condemned

But I would not dare

Suspicious continued

 

So keep me breath

And tightly hold my faith

'Till I prove the chosen one’s bliss

'Till Almighty’s eyes give me a kiss.

 

 

(Selected Lines from “Shine My Perishing Republic” – Selected Haiku, 1999 – 2002)

 

Virgin Lily


O, Virgin Lily,

Who glows in the heat of summer?

Doubt me and look me tight

Therefore I would not be so lost.

 

O, Virgin Lily,

Overwhelm not

I am not having you

Merely crush on your day figure

Cannot betrayed myself vows

I need you as companion

Merely companion.

 

O, Temptation,

Flows right to the ash

Turn you into solid rock, I may.

 

O, Me.

Flesh and bones

Strong Man, Beautiful Man, Ugly Man

Human pathetic, male and female

In the hands of Blake.

 

 

(Et ego petrarca in lingua vetera scribo – Selected Poems 1998 – 2001)



Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Menemui Dunia

Sus, kita memetik kesakitan.


Aku menemui dunia sendiri, sayang.

Kapan kau datang di seribu malam mengitariku senang.
Serangkaian alasan membuatmu mampu berkuasa
berkata-kata
hingga aku merasa dunia
menjebakku terus-menerus.
Mata jejak jiwa pun lumpuh.
Ajal tiba lebih dulu sebelum saatnya.

Terangnya aku suka berkhayal
suka hidup duka seatap.
Lalu apa kini peduli kita.
Kau hilang maka aku tertawa kering sendiri 
Sulitnya membawa harap yang cuma tinggal sepotong.


Aku menemui dunia lagi, sendiri, sayang.

Mungkin aku telah banyak kehilangan kejujuran.
Dengungannya kerap masih terdengar.
Sekiranya mimpi-mimpi kita pun lalu menjadi
aku selalu terlihat lamban dan dungu dihadapanmu.
Lalu kerjamu memaki kesal dan jadi pemarah.
Sekiranya mimpi kita tak juga jadi nyata
rasa penasaran yang dibawa mati jadi
lawakan tak lucu!
Tak jadi bernafas lega untuk hidup diselanjutnya.

Lalu?

"Kita akan selalu mengulang mimpi kita dari pertama."
Entah dengan siapa.
Tidak perlu khawatir kehilangan
segala asa.
Hanya saja kita menanggung mulut berbusa
ditipu mimpi.


Aku menemui dunia lagi, di hari ini, sendiri, sayang.
Jangan salahkan siapa-siapa.
Kurasa kini kau tahu,
dunia yang kita bangun memang kejam.



(Dari Kumpulan "Introducing Irony - Collected Poems 1996 dan digubah di Oktober 16, 2008)



Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Always To Little Lily


 

Restricted vows

Unfilled spirit to reality to dream

To sleepless and picture close to the heart.

 

Your warm lights

Like sharpest knife almost cut the promises off

And buried six feet under.

 

Walk in the safe way

O, dear Glowing Temptation

Hear safe sound

Avoid all sleepy noises

And poisonous singing snakes.

 

I am your guidance

Not guardian

So keep doubt me.

 

Blink of an eye

Has changed me the immortality

To liquid body.

 

You are temptation

Not affection

So keep doubt me.

 

Farewell, farewell

O, dear Glowing Temptation

Heat of summer burning me still

And you glowing for eternity

For me and the world in unity.

 


(Et ego petrarca in lingua vetera scribo – Selected Poems 1998 – 2001)


Monday, October 13, 2008

Jim Carroll, Timothy Armstrong dan Aku

To Jim Carroll: For Your Endless Desire

...And out come the wolves,

Their paws trampling the snow,

The alphabet, I stand on my head and watch it all go away...

(Junky Man - Rancid & Jim Carroll)



Manusia yang berlaku jorok

Kepalanya penuh ide-ide bobrok

Mulutnya lepas dalam cakap tanpa guna

Tangannya nakal seperti penjarah

Kaki yang mirip raksasa mitologi penginjak istirah

Hatinya meletup emosi murka ke segala arah.

 

Sial!

Kalau engkau hanya

Membebas

Coba diri keluar dari bentuk.

 

 

Dari Kumpulan Introducing Irony - Selected Poems 1996

Digubah di Oktober 2008


Malam Silam


O, malam silam telah turun
menurut derajatMu yang Mahatinggi
kebahagiaanku sendiri melatah
mengikat tanpa menapak.

Malam silam serasa abadi lagi
mencoba-coba memikirkanMu sebagai jalan
dalam perasaan dan kesatuan
jiwa kuat
ruh mendalam.

Pada malam silam begini
aku takut maut datang
sangsai hati meramal sekian detik
menuju akhir.

Seribu kelahiran.
Sejuta kematian.
Tiba dalam selaksa doa.


(dari Kumpulan Introducing Irony - Collected Poems 1996)



Shine My Perishing Republic - Part 2


Death could chase me into the grave
In my passionate life
Just inside world of words and languages
I still can get hide.

And here come the flood
Inside the very heart of every anti-social
God's bored
With mischief and denial.

To the country we've raised to the top
To republic that Jeffer's afraid of
To malicious and disobedient
To insensitive citizen.

....
....

(Selected Lines from "Shine My Perishing Republic - Selected Haiku 1999 - 2002")



Elang Yang Terlupakan


Kekalahan tak tenang,

Kucari engkau di kedalaman.

Malam tadi siang ini aku terguncang.

 

Teringat akan ucap ibuku:

Kuraih cepat beribu Firman.



(1996 - 2008)


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Redemption, Fair Star!

.....

.....


Provide the weather keep like this

There is no bliss and no need to wish

As you make the curse for where it is


Could you describe my fallen heart?

Even the messenger comes in parts.


.....

.....


Close enough to the death as I can see

As I see the immortality

In thee.



(Redemption, Fair Star! - Selected Lines from "Et Ego..." 1998)


Kepada Jiwa Yang Berpikir

Ode to William Blake

 

 

Jiwa yang suci adalah jiwa yang berpikir

Mengetahui hal yang perlu dipikir

Tanpa guru, tanpa buku

Hanya intuisi akal yang bersatu dengan alam malaikat.

 

Jiwa yang suci itu,

Melihat dalam tidur dan jaga.

Memanjat tinggi sampai alam yang tak terlihat

Mempengaruhi

Menyentuh

Materi alam yang menimbulkan mukjizat.

 

Tingkat tertinggi dalam kehidupan manusia

Wakil terpercaya di muka bumi

Keluberan rasa cintaNya

Menerangi kekeringan jiwanya.

 

 

(1996)

Carpe Diem I

Jikalau,

Dalam rasa cinta terjadi pengorbanan-pengorbanan

Yang bertentangan dengan insting

Dan kemauan untuk menilai,

Egoisme itu

Menerangi nalar alam dan binatang.

Jikalau,

Dalam sejarah terjadi suatu keadaan-keadaan

Yang bukan dari akibat perjuangan sebelumnya

Heroisme

Tidak akan menumbuhkan sebatang semak

Sekalipun.

 

Jikalau hal itu terjadi,

Maka manusia dapat menyaksikan

Akan campur tangan Tuhan

Secara murni dalam sejarah.

Ia tidak hanya menjadikan kecenderungan

Yang tinggi menjadi rendah

Tetapi sesuatu yang baru sama sekali.

Baik dalam penciptaan

Ataupun manusia dalam perjalanan kembalinya.

 

 

Dari Kumpulan Rhymes To Be… - Selected Poems 1996

Digubah di Oktober 2008



Rotterdam III

Apakah aku harus melarikan diri?

Aku berkata:

Andaikata aku harus merasa

Diriku sebagai keseluruhan orang,

Aku harus mulai berjalan

Kearah satu tujuan tertentu.

Hidup terus atau berantakan.

Dengan demikian

Aku telah melepaskan diri

Dari dunia ketegangan.

 

Dan disana berdirilah: Kau.

 

 

Dari Kumpulan Rhymes To Be… - Selected Poems

(2008)

 

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Everything Rainbow

I’ve never been so anxious before

I was an impostor and blind

Everything went green

 

I’ve never been so proud before

To be one, unity, couple

Everything went purple

 

I’ve never been so delightful before

I catch the feeling on my bed

Everything went red

 

I’ve never been so frightening before

Lost or fly away or disappear in kitchen’s sink

Everything went pink

 

I’ve never been so relief before

From promises to vows

Everything went yellow

 

I’ve never been so incensed before

Anything mocking on my own

Everything went brown

 

I’ve never been so sad before

I love you and I leave you

Everything went blue

 

I’ve never been so glad before

When everyone with solemn face say:

“Death’s running after you!”

 

Everything went black.

 

(2001)

Amazing Works

Romance

Romance, who loves to nod and sing
With drowsy head and folded wing
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been—most familiar bird—
Taught me my alphabet to say,
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood I did lie,
A child—with a most knowing eye.

Of late, eternal condor years
So shake the very Heaven on high
With tumult as they thunder by,
I have no time for idle cares
Through gazing on the unquiet sky;
And when an hour with calmer wings
Its down upon my spirit flings,
That little time with lyre and rhyme
To while away—forbidden things—
My heart would feel to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the strings.


- Edgar Allan Poe

Friend Surrounding